Hello friends, I miss writing and interacting with all of you. I wish I could be on here more, but between health struggles and working crazy hours, I don’t get on the computer too much, and I detest typing on my kindle. Here is some insight into my days…
Today is one of the bad days. I have been struggling all week, but just kept pushing through. Now, today my body says: “No More!”
Is it my thyroid? Is it my depression? Is it my insomnia? Is it just my sinuses acting up, which is causing this horrible headache and exhaustion? Maybe it is a combination, or none of them at all. I never really know. I just use my natural remedies, paired with medicine, and hope for the best. Unfortunately, it has been over two hours since I took the last of my “please make me feel better” pills, and yet I feel no better.
My children are disappointed, because we will not make our co-op gathering today. I am angry and sad, because at 40 years old, I should be able to function on a daily basis, without all this pain and grogginess.
It feels like I have been sick forever, but in reality my symptoms only got to this level in the past year. They have been especially bad the past 6 months, since I started working overnights. Beth has declared that when I am better, she wants to use all her dollars to take us out to celebrate mom being healthy again. While, this is beyond sweet, it also tells me how much my illness affects my babies.
Tomorrow it is back to work. I will have 3 twelve hours shifts, walking 20 miles each night, only getting 4 – 6 hours of sleep in between shifts (if I am lucky). I will have to push through those days, because my job supplies our insurance and helps pay the bills. So, today I will rest as much as possible. The laundry I didn’t get done yesterday, because I used too much of my energy on cooking and cleaning, will have to be done at some point, but it will be done slowly. It will be a light school day, and we will play a lot of games, while I sit.
At some point, I pray that I will be more functional, but for now, we will make the best of a bad situation. We take it one day at a time in this family, and some days it is one hour at a time. Today may even be a one minute at a time day.
Thank you for listening, I hope to see you soon. Love and peace friends.