Mother’s Day 2016

Good morning, and Happy Mother’s Day.

Holidays and parties are HARD for our family. We need to prepare by doing a lot of resting prior, and then we must prepare for the inevitable meltdowns and struggles that will follow. Beth and Anne can usually “hold it together” while we are there, because they truly WANT to be there. The problem is that it is too much for their systems, especially Beth. The one thing our loved ones will never understand is the “happy meltdown.” The “happy meltdown” is the fallout as Beth’s system tries to process all the excitement and happy she experienced at the gathering.

After many PAINFUL holidays this past year, we are doing things differently. It is upsetting to people that want to see the girls at parties, but I cannot please everyone and my girls’ mental health cones first. So today, I will spend the morning with my amazing daughters, then this afternoon I will go visit with my family (mom, gram, aunt, etc…) to celebrate Mother’s Day. Our decision was not popular, but I must admit that once it was made, I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders.

Today is Mother’s Day, and EVERY Mother should celebrate in a way that puts a happy in HER heart. We should not celebrate in ways that only make others happy. We must put ourselves first sometimes, and today is the perfect day to do that.  Remember Different is just different; it is not better or worse, and you need not justify your choices to anyone. May your day be filled with laughter and love; may it also be meltdown free and relaxing.

 

Have a blessed day everyone, and don’t forget to smile. ♥

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World Autism Day 2016 ~ I Can’t. She Can. I Think I’ll Let Her.

In Al-Anon the first three steps (from the 12 steps) are the foundation of our program. We tend to shorten those steps to: “I can’t. He can. I think I’ll let Him.” The actual steps read as:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

I look at it like this… I am powerless over people, places and things. My Higher Power, whom I call God, will help them on their path, just as He is always with me on my journey. The only person I have control over is myself, and I must use that control to always conduct myself like the woman God knows I can be.

Today as I prepare for another April, where I inevitably spend most of my time cringing at many of the posts, I am seeing the world through my program eyes. I understand that I cannot control what other people believe, or what they choose to share. I accept that we are all just trying to do the best we can for our families, and we don’t have to agree to treat each other with respect and kindness. I am praying for Autistics everywhere to know that their value is not tied to the opinions of others, but is rooted in themselves. I am praying for a better world, where everyone treats each other with Love and Respect, while celebrating and embracing diversity.

My “Three Steps” for treating my daughter with the respect she deserves:

  1. I Can’t…

I can’t live life for Beth, because I can never fully understand what occurs in her beautiful mind/body from day to day. I must always respect her boundaries and space, because I do not experience the world in the same way she does. My job as her parent is to support her in any way possible, but I should NEVER try to control her.  I can’t think for her, and therefore should not speak for her either.

      1. She Can…

She can, and does, live a pretty awesome life. As she learns to navigate this overwhelming world, she tries to share her experiences with us. She can tell (or show) us what she feels, and how certain things affect her. All we need to do is “listen” with our ears, eyes and most importantly our hearts. She can speak for herself, and reminds us of that when we forget.

        1. I Think I’ll Let Her…

I think I’ll let her live life on her terms. She is constantly helping us see the world in a different way. She helps us, and people who meet her, see the struggles and blessings of Autism. She has an amazing voice, which she uses to spread love and light everywhere she ventures. By letting her share her message, how she chooses, we are changing the world for the better, one person at a time.

World Autism Day 3 Steps

Today is World Autism Day; this month is Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month. By the end of April, you will see a LOT of information shared in various forms. You may find yourself with more questions than answers. If you have questions about Autism, the best place to go is an Autistic person. As a parent, I cannot express the level of my gratitude for the Autistic Adults, who are willing to share their journey in order to help the next generation. There are many wonderful pages/sites that can address your questions, and help you see Autism for what it is… A neurological difference; It is NOT less, neither is it more, it is simply a different way of processing the world.

Have a blessed day everyone, and don’t forget to smile. ♥

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Stress and Praise

Hello friends, I hope you are all doing well. I know I have been missing-in-action for many months, but life has been a bit more chaotic then usual. I cannot seem to find the time to devote to blogging, and I suppose it is because so many other things in life are simply more of a priority at this time. I keep searching for the secret that will leave me some energy at the end of the night, so I can start writing again, but so far it has not materialized. We all know that Life is One Day At A Time, and I have faith that soon there will be a better balance in my life.

As I have been searching for that balance, one thing stands out to me… the repetitive pattern of problem and solution. The majority of my problems come from stress, which is a result of me trying to control everything. Most of my solutions come from prayer, which is putting my faith in my Higher Power, whom I call God. When I stress, and allow my worse-case-scenario imagination to run rampant, I end up exhausted and sick. When I praise God, and thank Him (and His angels) for being with me always, I am peaceful and strong. It really comes down to putting my pesky ego in it’s place, and accepting that through God all things are possible, if I am willing to get out of my own way and let Him work.  As we say in program: “I can’t. He can. I think I’ll let Him.”

 

Stress and Praise

 

 

Have a blessed day everyone, and don’t forget to smile. ♥

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14 Years later…

I am sitting here on September 13th, it is not an exceptional day, and there are no “We Remember” memes for today. My heart has been heavy since last week, and today I am finally working through the reasons why. Fourteen years ago, on September 11th, the unthinkable happened in our country. We were attacked on our soil, and thousands died.  It was horrific day, and I will never forget that day, and the weeks that followed.

I remember staying at work, because I didn’t want to be alone; then driving blindly to my parent’s home, and sitting for hours crying while watching the coverage on TV. I remember being terrified for my coworkers in the Sears Tower, and thankful that I only had to work out of that office occasionally. I remember my counterpart from that office calling me in tears, after they did an evacuation drill, and she realized that with just 1 person from each office in the stairwells, she could not make it out of the Sears Tower (from the 35th floor) if it fell in the same time as the Twin Towers. I remember our Sears Tower office being a ghost town for months, as everyone came and worked from our “safe” suburban office.

I also remember a country that came together in the face of tragedy. I remember people putting aside their differences to stand as one nation. I remember people acting with love, respect, kindness, and compassion for their fellow humans. The devastating acts that were meant to destroy our nation, seemed to only make us stronger. I was proud to be an American.

The list of lives lost on 9/11/01, which was published in the Chicago Sun Times

The list of lives lost on 9/11/01, which was published in the Chicago Sun Times

14 years later… People share the memes around September 11th declaring that they will never forget, but their actions show the world that they have already forgotten. Our country is slowing killing itself. While we still fear terrorism, it is the wars being waged on our own soil that should scare us the most. People are killing each other over race, religion, sexual orientation, ability, etc… Our nation no longer stands together in love, it is divided with hate.

Our country was founded in diversity, it was founded on a belief that ALL men were equal, and free to believe as they chose. After 9/11, people in positions of power used our fear to slowly change our country under the guise of protecting us. Now we live in a country where being different can get you killed. Our society (as a whole) has no tolerance for people with different beliefs. As I fight to teach my children to love and respect EVERYONE, the world around them shows them that if you are different, you must fear for your life. It is WRONG on so many levels! I am no longer proud to be an American, because I live in fear of the world my children are growing up in.

I do not post often these days, because I tend to stay offline. Everyday I log on to social media I see hate, disrespect, cruelty and judgement. It hurts my heart, and lately I cannot bare to see such negativity spewed. I will continue to teach my children that God created us all differently for a reason, because he LOVES diversity. I will continue to teach them to treat EVERYONE with respect and kindness. All while praying, that American people come to their senses before we completely destroy our country. You do not have to agree with your neighbor’s beliefs to treat them with respect and kindness. Just as they do not have to approve of your way of life, to treat you with love and compassion. If the Lord wanted everyone to be the same, and think the same, He would not have created us so differently and given us free-will. PLEASE stop trying to force others to live by your beliefs, and start embracing diversity. ❤

Have a blessed day everyone, and don’t forget to smile. ♥

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Dorothy

Do you believe in Spirit Guides, or perhaps Guardian Angels? Do you ever put a name to that inner voice that whispers to you? I have always believed in both, but until recently I did not have the name of my Muse. Now, I know her name is Dorothy, and is it wonderful to be able to put a name to the voice.

My husband and I recently visited a lovely shop in Paducah (Kentucky), called Wildhair Studios’ Rock Shop. As soon as I walked into the shop, I was drawn to the rack of pendulums. My friend, who does Healing Touch uses one, and although I did not know what I (personally) would use one for, I knew I wanted (or perhaps needed) one. There were so many beautiful pendulums, it was hard to decide which to purchase. I picked up one, which I thought particularly dainty and pretty. It began to spin counter-clockwise. I read the information posted next to the stand, and realized that meant “No.” I asked my husband to hold it, and it spun clockwise, which meant “Yes.” I told one of the employees that the pendulum appeared to not like me, so he offered advice on how to center myself and suggestions I try again. This time, it practically screamed: “NO!” I tried a few other pendulums, and all had the same answer of “No.” Finally, I picked up one that began spinning immediately, shouting: “YES!” Of course I bought it, and tucked it away in my purse. In all honesty, I do not know much about pendulums, but I look forward to learning.

Upon returning home, I had a “Getting to know your pendulum” session. I still don’t know why, but  I asked if it had a name, even though that was not suggested in any of the readings I did.  A few minutes into our session, the question came out of my mouth:  “Do you have a name?” The answer was: “Yes.” So then I started asking: “Is ______ your name?”  It took several names before I found the right one. The only name, I received a “Yes” to was Dorothy. When I chose my pen-name to write under, I always thought it was in honor of my great-grandmother, and in some ways it was; however, now I realize that it was also my Inner Voice (aka Spirit Guide/Angel/Muse) wanting to be heard.

I love that I found my pendulum, and have a new tool to use on my spiritual journey. I love that we have fluid conversations (my talking, her moving), which often include spiritual messages I need to hear (whether I want to or not). I REALLY love that I have a name to use when talking to my friend. This is Dorothy, isn’t she beautiful?

Dorothy

Have a blessed day everyone, and don’t forget to smile. ♥

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Six Years, How Did That Happen?

Today, our eldest child turned SIX. How did that happen? I swear we just brought her home from the hospital yesterday. 🙂

Although, her actual birthday party is not for a few weeks, we did have a very eventful, and wonderful, day. We started the day out just the four of us. Henry made us all Mickey Mouse pancakes, after she opened her presents. Anne had a small gift to open too, because we always do something for the sibling as well.

Then we spent 2.5hours at one of her favorite places, Chuck-E-Cheese. When our time was up, we had 625 tickets. The girls each got a slinky and a silly straw, which left 125 tickets. We were going to add money to that, so she could pick out a bear for her birthday. The young man behind the counter, gave her the bear, wished her a Happy Birthday and refused to take our money. ❤ There are still kind and generous people in the world, and it always fills my heart with a happy, when we encounter them.

Once home, we had lunch, then the grandparents descended upon us. The girls always enjoy having both sets of grandparents here, because there is no waiting for attention. We enjoyed a nice afternoon together, and the girls both received great presents. We sang Happy Birthday, and God’s Blessings, before Beth and Anne blew out all the candles in one try. Beth’s favorite part came next, she got to serve people their cupcakes. She is definitely the hostess with the mostess. 😉

God gave us more than a miracle the day Beth was born, he gave us the embodiment of love and hope.  Beth is is an extraordinary child! She teaches us something new, almost daily. We are grateful that He blessed us with an Autistic child, so that we could embrace the truly important things in life. Our girl is going to change the world; between her brilliant mind, unique perspective and huge heart, there is nothing she cannot achieve.  The energy she sends out into the world is nothing short of pure love and light. We are so proud, and thankful, to have been chosen as her parents; being able to help her navigate her path in life is a tremendous honor. ❤

 

ss hearts

Image courtesy of JGutke Photography

 **Begin Edit**

Oh my goodness, I don’t know how I could have forgotten one of THE most important parts of the day! Beth just reminded me, as she was telling me how much she loves her bestie, Mr. O. They have been friends for 3years, ever since she started public school when she was 3. He is a fellow Autistic, and an amazing boy. His mother called today, because he wanted to wish Beth a Happy Birthday. When he got on the phone, he sang her Happy Birthday, and it MADE her day!!! ❤ She has declared several times that Mr. O is her prince and that they will be married one day. 🙂

 **End Edit**

Have a blessed day everyone, and don’t forget to smile. ♥

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