14 Years later…

I am sitting here on September 13th, it is not an exceptional day, and there are no “We Remember” memes for today. My heart has been heavy since last week, and today I am finally working through the reasons why. Fourteen years ago, on September 11th, the unthinkable happened in our country. We were attacked on our soil, and thousands died.  It was horrific day, and I will never forget that day, and the weeks that followed.

I remember staying at work, because I didn’t want to be alone; then driving blindly to my parent’s home, and sitting for hours crying while watching the coverage on TV. I remember being terrified for my coworkers in the Sears Tower, and thankful that I only had to work out of that office occasionally. I remember my counterpart from that office calling me in tears, after they did an evacuation drill, and she realized that with just 1 person from each office in the stairwells, she could not make it out of the Sears Tower (from the 35th floor) if it fell in the same time as the Twin Towers. I remember our Sears Tower office being a ghost town for months, as everyone came and worked from our “safe” suburban office.

I also remember a country that came together in the face of tragedy. I remember people putting aside their differences to stand as one nation. I remember people acting with love, respect, kindness, and compassion for their fellow humans. The devastating acts that were meant to destroy our nation, seemed to only make us stronger. I was proud to be an American.

The list of lives lost on 9/11/01, which was published in the Chicago Sun Times

The list of lives lost on 9/11/01, which was published in the Chicago Sun Times

14 years later… People share the memes around September 11th declaring that they will never forget, but their actions show the world that they have already forgotten. Our country is slowing killing itself. While we still fear terrorism, it is the wars being waged on our own soil that should scare us the most. People are killing each other over race, religion, sexual orientation, ability, etc… Our nation no longer stands together in love, it is divided with hate.

Our country was founded in diversity, it was founded on a belief that ALL men were equal, and free to believe as they chose. After 9/11, people in positions of power used our fear to slowly change our country under the guise of protecting us. Now we live in a country where being different can get you killed. Our society (as a whole) has no tolerance for people with different beliefs. As I fight to teach my children to love and respect EVERYONE, the world around them shows them that if you are different, you must fear for your life. It is WRONG on so many levels! I am no longer proud to be an American, because I live in fear of the world my children are growing up in.

I do not post often these days, because I tend to stay offline. Everyday I log on to social media I see hate, disrespect, cruelty and judgement. It hurts my heart, and lately I cannot bare to see such negativity spewed. I will continue to teach my children that God created us all differently for a reason, because he LOVES diversity. I will continue to teach them to treat EVERYONE with respect and kindness. All while praying, that American people come to their senses before we completely destroy our country. You do not have to agree with your neighbor’s beliefs to treat them with respect and kindness. Just as they do not have to approve of your way of life, to treat you with love and compassion. If the Lord wanted everyone to be the same, and think the same, He would not have created us so differently and given us free-will. PLEASE stop trying to force others to live by your beliefs, and start embracing diversity. ❤

Have a blessed day everyone, and don’t forget to smile. ♥

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Dorothy

Do you believe in Spirit Guides, or perhaps Guardian Angels? Do you ever put a name to that inner voice that whispers to you? I have always believed in both, but until recently I did not have the name of my Muse. Now, I know her name is Dorothy, and is it wonderful to be able to put a name to the voice.

My husband and I recently visited a lovely shop in Paducah (Kentucky), called Wildhair Studios’ Rock Shop. As soon as I walked into the shop, I was drawn to the rack of pendulums. My friend, who does Healing Touch uses one, and although I did not know what I (personally) would use one for, I knew I wanted (or perhaps needed) one. There were so many beautiful pendulums, it was hard to decide which to purchase. I picked up one, which I thought particularly dainty and pretty. It began to spin counter-clockwise. I read the information posted next to the stand, and realized that meant “No.” I asked my husband to hold it, and it spun clockwise, which meant “Yes.” I told one of the employees that the pendulum appeared to not like me, so he offered advice on how to center myself and suggestions I try again. This time, it practically screamed: “NO!” I tried a few other pendulums, and all had the same answer of “No.” Finally, I picked up one that began spinning immediately, shouting: “YES!” Of course I bought it, and tucked it away in my purse. In all honesty, I do not know much about pendulums, but I look forward to learning.

Upon returning home, I had a “Getting to know your pendulum” session. I still don’t know why, but  I asked if it had a name, even though that was not suggested in any of the readings I did.  A few minutes into our session, the question came out of my mouth:  “Do you have a name?” The answer was: “Yes.” So then I started asking: “Is ______ your name?”  It took several names before I found the right one. The only name, I received a “Yes” to was Dorothy. When I chose my pen-name to write under, I always thought it was in honor of my great-grandmother, and in some ways it was; however, now I realize that it was also my Inner Voice (aka Spirit Guide/Angel/Muse) wanting to be heard.

I love that I found my pendulum, and have a new tool to use on my spiritual journey. I love that we have fluid conversations (my talking, her moving), which often include spiritual messages I need to hear (whether I want to or not). I REALLY love that I have a name to use when talking to my friend. This is Dorothy, isn’t she beautiful?

Dorothy

Have a blessed day everyone, and don’t forget to smile. ♥

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Giving Up Excuses

Today is the first day of Lent, and my FaceBook newsfeed is filled with things people are giving up.  I have given up things for Lent in the past, and know how hard it can be, but that no longer works for me. I do not feel that giving up favorite foods or activities truly shows my love and devotion to God. Last year I committed to building a deeper spiritual relationship with God during Lent. It went well, for the most part, but I definitely could have done better.

This year I am making a commitment to myself, to be healthier physically and spiritually. So, for Lent I am giving up excuses. I am giving up all the excuses I have for not being in better shape physically, which means recommitting to my healthy journey, for the umptiseventh time. 😉

A woman in one of my walking groups posted this today:

“Today starts Lent so instead of giving something up I’m going to be more dedicated to clean eating and more intensity in my work outs. Weight loss would be good too but that’s not my focus for the next 40 days.”

I was inspired by her post and asked if I could join her. This group is always extremely supportive, but it is nice to know that for the next 40 days, I will have a partner to be accountable to. I am not sure what I weigh, because I have been avoiding the scale, but I will weigh myself (and do measurements) in the morning, just to have a gauge for my progress. Part of this commitment will be to walk at least one mile with Leslie Sansone each of the 40 days.

I am also giving up the excuses I have been using to not complete my Fourth Step Inventory. Thus far, I have completed 9 of the 26 sections in the Blueprint For Progress. I am making a commitment to myself, to finish the remaining 17 sections by the end of Lent. Some topics are harder than others, but I am confident I can do this. Thankfully, I have some wonderful family-of-choice in Al-Anon to help me, should I falter with this journey to become more spiritually healthy.

One Day At A Time, I am going to use this Lenten season to become a better, healthier me. At the end of Lent, I pray that I will be closer to being the person God knows I can be. ❤

This stands outside the door to the place where we have our Al-Anon Roundups every year. It is a source of comfort and strength for me.

This stands outside the door to the place where we have our Al-Anon Roundups every year. It is a source of comfort and strength for me.

Have a blessed day everyone, and don’t forget to smile. ♥

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Healing Touch

Have you heard of Healing Touch? If not here is a great post that explains Healing Touch.

On Saturday, I had a Healing Touch session with Sarah, from Color My Spirit. In this session, the intention was to work on Beth, through me. I was the one on the table, while Beth was at my parents house playing the day away. Before I left for my session, I put Chakra Balancing Oils on both Beth and myself. I also put a Chakra ring on both us. I then brought a picture of Beth, for Sarah to have during the session. Since Beth loves rocks, and is always on a quest for the perfect gold one, Sarah also placed a beautiful pyrite stone (amongst others) by Beth’s picture.

We talked about what I hoped to achieve through the session. My main goal was to help Beth process, and move on from, the negative energy that resulted from bullying. She had been bullied for months in public school, and is still trying to work through all those emotions. Beth is Autistic, and for her that means her memories are sensory based. Unfortunately, many activities such as painting, eating, playing, etc… tend to bring back painful memories from her experiences at public school. Sometimes she talks about how sad she is, while other times she has massive meltdowns. I am doing my best to help her work through her emotions each time she shares an incident with me, but I was hoping Sarah and Healing Touch could help her on another level.

The session was amazing! The energy that comes from Sarah vibrates in the air when she is working on me. When we started I had a lump, that felt like a rock in the upper left side of my chest. As the session progressed, the pain and weight I felt in that spot slowly dissipated. At times I had to take a deep breath, from the power of the energy moving through me. During the session, I felt another rock-like lump manifest in my lower abdomen and slowly travel up toward the center of my chest, where it rested, before dissipating as well. There were moments, when I felt as though I would weep, and others when I smiled from immense feelings of joy. Toward the end of the session, Sarah was moving her hands from my knee to my toes in a sweeping motion. Each time her hands swept downward, I felt as though she was pulling something out of me. My arms automatically stretched toward her, and I felt as though I was fighting to keep my body flat on the table. It was as if whatever she was focusing on, was being dragged out of every fiber in my being.

I pray this helps Beth. The overwhelming feelings of peace and love that I felt at the end of our session, is something I pray my children feel countless times in their life. Today Beth and I are exhausted, despite both of us sleeping very well last night. Sarah warned that we may feel more tired in the coming days, as our bodies detox from the negative energy she attempted to remove. I will be watching Beth in the coming weeks to see what changes are apparent. I will also be paying close attention to myself, since Sarah sensed that I must heal my own (old) wounds in order to fully help Beth heal hers.

There was one new thing today. For the first time, while talking about the boys who tortured her, Beth said: “I don’t like K anymore. He said I was bad team, but he is bad team and I don’t like him anymore!” This is HUGE, because just a few days ago, she was still crying about how he broke her heart because she wanted to be his friend and he didn’t like her. This change in her dialogue is like a beacon of hope for me! It is the shining star that tells me, she will not only overcome this, but she is going to use it as a base for something wonderful.

I believe the Lord has great plans for Beth. I know she will encounter good and evil on her path. I also know that when she must endure the bad, He will help her heal, and take what she needs from those events. I am very thankful that He has blessed us with people like Sarah, to help her on her journey.

 

Have a blessed day everyone, and don’t forget to smile. ♥

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Faith

Hello everyone, I cannot believe it has been 2.5 months since I wrote a post. Our family has been busy, and it is amazing how quickly time passes, when technology is taking a back seat. So what brought me to the computer today?

The simple answer: Faith.

A talk with a good friend plunged me into deep thought today. I realized that even someone who knows me so well, often does not understand my faith. Although, my friend does not always understand, she is typically supportive, but it got me thinking: How do you explain Faith?

Since finding Al-Anon and building a strong relationship with my Higher Power (whom I call God), my faith has evolved. Over the years, this evolution perplexes my loved ones, and often leaves me feeling a bit lonely. I know God is always with me, but sometimes it would be nice to have a friend or family member truly understand my views.

I was blessed to find a MOMs group, which the girls and I attend every Tuesday at a local church. Most of these women “get it” and it is a comfort to me. Although, they have had a healthy relationship with God most of their lives, so sometimes I am left feeling behind in their inspiring trains of thought.

Today, I was reminded of a post I wrote last summer, after hearing Alex Kendrick speak on the radio, on my old blog. Ironically that post was also titled Faith. Here is the image that accompanied the post:

Faith Believes, Faith Prays, Faith Acts, Doubt Does Nothing

Faith Believes. Doubt Does Not. Faith Prays. Doubt Does Not. Faith Acts. Doubt Does Not. — Alex Kendrick

You may be wondering, what the point of this post is. I am not sure there is one, perhaps I just needed to see my thoughts in black and white.

Bottom line: Do not let Doubt encroach on your Faith. When a loved one does not understand your perception or actions, it can cause you to doubt yourself, but do not let it. Your faith is simply that, YOUR FAITH, and it will lead you to extraordinary places if you walk in it every day. You do not have to understand, (or agree with) someone to love and respect them. Simply treat everyone as you would like to be treated, and be the change you want to see in the world.

 

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Sharing Is Caring

After our rough day on Friday, I was worried about how the weekend would go. Thankfully, it went well, and we had a wonderful two days of celebrating Daddy’s birthday. The best part of the weekend was baking blueberry bread (muffin mix in mini loaf pans) with the girls Sunday morning. Once we were done, we woke Daddy up and sang Happy Birthday again. ♥

Sometimes I am sad that we don’t share pictures of the girls online, because I took some really adorable ones at a fest, and during our multiple Happy Birthday sessions. We do not share their images (or use their real names) for privacy and safety, but also because they are too young to decide whether or not they want their  lives shared with the world.

I share small portions of our life here, because in Al-Anon we learn that the way we help ourselves (and others) is by sharing our stories. So I share my perception of events, while keeping my girls’ dignity in tact. Being able to share, is one of the ways I work my program, and try to keep my serenity. If it were not for all the generous and courageous people who share their stories at Al-Anon meetings, I would not be where I am today.

While I am still at the beginning of my recovery; I am a much better person, friend, family member, wife and mother than I was three years ago.

This is my third attempt at blogging. My first two attempts just did not progress the way I envisioned them. I think I was trying too hard to change the world  with my new-found positive view of life, which often sounded more like preaching than honest sharing.  The preaching, know-it-all portion of myself is one of my character defects that I pray for my Higher Power to remove. After taking a hiatus from writing, mainly because of health issues, I realized that my sickness was doing more writing, than my program, and that would not help anyone.

The Serenity Spectrum is as true to life as I can get, while respecting the anonymity of my family and friends. I thank you all for allowing me to share my story with you, and I hope that as time goes on you will share with me; because I still have so much more to learn about life, love, hope  and happiness.

As TobyMac sings so beautifully, Speak Life! ♥

 

Have a blessed day everyone, and don’t forget to smile. ♥

 

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First Day

Today was our first day of homeschool. We spent two hours on school time before having lunch. Anne is now napping and Beth is having speech therapy.

In our two hours we did:

Meditation ( http://mommymystic.wordpress.com/2013/10/22/chakra-meditation-for-kids-or-adults-who-want-to-feel-like-a-kid/)

Schedule, Time, Calendar, Letters,  and Numbers

Morning Prayer

Bible Study

Bob-book AB

Exercise (1mile Walk-Away-The-Pounds with Leslie Sansone)

Letter A (http://allinonehomeschool.com/grades/getting-ready-1/)

Yoga, Twilight the Unicorn of Dreams (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8snGkhBF7njTT4a7uqDiUB1qPBI4ZOBL)

After lunch, Anne went down for her nap; I told Beth she could paint on my laptop for 10 minutes, but then she had to potty before her SLT arrived. I showed her on our clock when it would be ten minutes, and she actually reminded me when her time was up. She said: “Mom it is 10, I need to potty.” She got an extra sticker for that. 😉

The day went well, but there were parts that were difficult for Anne. She had a hard time staying with activities and following directions, but in time she will adjust, and it will become easier. Beth did everything with more ease, and is very serious about her school time, but in time I hope she will relax a bit. I did okay, but did lose my cool a few times, which made me feel bad. I will get better at being teacher and mom, I just have to remember to be patient and allow for each of their learning styles. Eventually I think our school will be a wonderful combination of both girls’ learning styles, energy levels and personalities.

Speech has ended, and my munchkin is awake, so my time on here is done at the moment. This afternoon we are hoping to venture out to the library, and enjoy some fresh air on their beautiful lawn; praying my back cooperates with our plans.

Have a blessed day everyone, and don’t forget to smile. ♥

 

 

A few pictures of our school space:

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Serenity Spectrum is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.