Five Years of a Blessed Commitment

♥ Today marks my FIVE year anniversary, being committed to Al-Anon. ♥

I walked into my first Al-Anon meeting on May 16, 2010 and instantly felt like I was home. I started attending meetings regularly and could feel myself healing from many of my emotional wounds. Then I got pregnant again, and our world slowed to a crawl due a very difficult pregnancy. I still read my literature and tried to practice the principals, but no longer attended meetings on a regular basis, if at all.

On January 3, 2012,  I went to what would become my home group meeting for the next few years. Instantly there was peace in the center of my mental storm. I committed to my program that day, because I wanted to be better for my girls. I wanted them to have a different life, and sense of self, than I had. I wanted to break the cycle of self-loathing and self-destruction. I went for them, but I stayed for me.

It’s been almost 7 years since my first meeting, and 5 years since I committed to this amazing program, and today I can say that I am a different person. I look at the “pre-Al-Anon” me, and cannot even believe that I still have friends from that time, I was so horrible. I thank God every day for the people who loved me enough to stay, even when I could not stand to be around myself. Today, I love myself and I am proud of the progress I have made. I am not perfect, nor would I ever wish to be, because God created me to be human with all my imperfections as tools to build a better me.

Daily I pray only for the willingness and strength to carry out His will, and not force mine. An example of His will versus mine is that yesterday I visited my grandmother, for the first time in over 10 years. I honestly had no intention of seeing her anytime soon, I had given thought to seeing her when I reached Step 9, but God had other plans.  I followed His message and did as He asked. It was a nice visit. We sat down like old friends, talked about current life and reminisced about the old days. Then when we were leaving, we hugged and agreed that we did not want to rehash the ugliness of the past, but start with a clean slate going forward. This visit brought me some peace, and gifted my father and grandmother with much happiness. I am not sure what the future will hold, but I know God has a plan, and my job is to follow the path He lays in front of me.

Thank you Al-Anon for helping me build a loving relationship with my Higher Power, whom I call God. Thank you God for loving me and blessing me with your grace.


Have a blessed day everyone, and don’t forget to smile. ♥

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Hello everyone, I cannot believe it has been 2.5 months since I wrote a post. Our family has been busy, and it is amazing how quickly time passes, when technology is taking a back seat. So what brought me to the computer today?

The simple answer: Faith.

A talk with a good friend plunged me into deep thought today. I realized that even someone who knows me so well, often does not understand my faith. Although, my friend does not always understand, she is typically supportive, but it got me thinking: How do you explain Faith?

Since finding Al-Anon and building a strong relationship with my Higher Power (whom I call God), my faith has evolved. Over the years, this evolution perplexes my loved ones, and often leaves me feeling a bit lonely. I know God is always with me, but sometimes it would be nice to have a friend or family member truly understand my views.

I was blessed to find a MOMs group, which the girls and I attend every Tuesday at a local church. Most of these women “get it” and it is a comfort to me. Although, they have had a healthy relationship with God most of their lives, so sometimes I am left feeling behind in their inspiring trains of thought.

Today, I was reminded of a post I wrote last summer, after hearing Alex Kendrick speak on the radio, on my old blog. Ironically that post was also titled Faith. Here is the image that accompanied the post:

Faith Believes, Faith Prays, Faith Acts, Doubt Does Nothing

Faith Believes. Doubt Does Not. Faith Prays. Doubt Does Not. Faith Acts. Doubt Does Not. — Alex Kendrick

You may be wondering, what the point of this post is. I am not sure there is one, perhaps I just needed to see my thoughts in black and white.

Bottom line: Do not let Doubt encroach on your Faith. When a loved one does not understand your perception or actions, it can cause you to doubt yourself, but do not let it. Your faith is simply that, YOUR FAITH, and it will lead you to extraordinary places if you walk in it every day. You do not have to understand, (or agree with) someone to love and respect them. Simply treat everyone as you would like to be treated, and be the change you want to see in the world.


Creative Commons License
Serenity Spectrum is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.